No bump is too small to warrant attention, apparently. Peaches get peeled, pitted, diced, and served in tiny bowls to avoid the hideously fuzzy skin that would surely kill the children (or so we're lead to believe). The giant red, not-seedless, grapes purchased accidentally must be cut open, seeds removed, and bagged nicely to qualify for consumption in a school lunch.
The cumulative effect of this mind boggling pampering causes something I call "Smooth Road Syndrome" in which suspensions grow soft and vehicles settle into low-rider profile. When your chassis rides a hair's breadth from the blacktop you sure look cool! Until you hit a speed bump.
I had never imagined how true-to-life this analogy was until we took the family hiking this summer. The dirt trail through pine woods was scattered with exposed rocks and tree roots and my youngest son, Joey, was wearing his low-rider shoes. He tripped the whole way up, the whole way down, and made it very clear to everyone on the mountain how displeased he was with the unimproved surface.
Last year, we hiked Green Mountain, a local grass covered foothill popular for its easy trails and city views. On our decent down a trail hewn from rocky hillside, stepping over large rocks and taking care not to slip on patches of gravel, my older son, Garett, said, "Whoever built this place sure hasn't done much with it".
Perhaps our parental paving machine, responsible for such an easy ride, should start shedding parts into the roadway as a way to keep the drivers sharp. "Watch out for that bolt!". "Oops, sorry about that wheel stuck in your grill".
Eventually, the big machine which has been leveling ground (and eclipsing the path ahead) will run out of steam or reach the end of its contracted duties. Hazard signs will go up... and its operators will wave the drivers around.
Good luck kids!
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